Treasures in jars of clay: The secret to pastoring
It was one of those early mornings where the rising sun had illuminated the sky in incredible hues of purple, pink, orange and red. The sky was on its toes waiting for the sun to pierce the horizon. The waves were peacefully washing up on the shore, and the cool breeze was refreshing everything it raced by.
Recognizing my weakness
Yet as beautiful as that morning was, my heart was torn in the darkness of fear over the future, self-doubt, sadness about past experiences and even grief over my own sin. It seemed these feelings had transitioned from being sporadic visitors in my heart to tenants who had unpacked and begun to pay rent.
As I walked the beach, I was questioning whether I was in over my head in pastoral ministry. I was convinced that the questions my church was facing were beyond my capabilities. I was certain that any wisdom, gifts or assets that I brought to the table were easily negated by my leadership weaknesses, lack of pastoral abilities and crippling fear of man.
And I was right.
God is sufficient
That morning, and many mornings afterwards, the Lord gave me the gift of showing me that I could not build the church in my own strength. Actually, let me say that another way: The Lord gave me the gift of showing me that I could not build His church in my own strength.
In His kindness, He showed me that I did not have the abilities to do what the church needed. I did not have the wisdom to tackle tricky issues related to pastoring in the midst of a pandemic. I did not have the capabilities that would produce any confidence in my head that my church (and myself and my family!) would make it through the COVID-19 shutdown in any kind of spiritually healthy manner.
I figured we would crawl across the finish line and the weight that held us back would be me.
And in the kindness of holding up the mirror of my own insufficiency, God allowed me to more clearly see His sufficiency.
2 Corinthians 4:7-12 became a life raft that I clung to as those thoughts of doubt, fear and grief crept to the forefront of my mind.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you.
When you’re at the end of yourself
Fellow pastor, it’s not by coincidence or chance that you carry the burdens that weigh your heart down. It’s so that you may know “that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”
Do you feel overwhelmed and fearful in your evangelism?
Do you struggle with feelings of monotony and dryness when it comes to your preaching?
Do you continually second guess yourself and yearn for reassurance that you are doing something, anything right?
Do you look at the toll that the pandemic (and the subsequent economic fallout) has taken on your church and not know how or if you’ll recover?
Do you look at the Facebook pages of church members and wonder whether or not you have it in you to shepherd the church through the political polarization that is ripping too many churches apart?
Do you feel like you get home each day with an empty tank and nothing left to give to your family?
If you found yourself nodding in the affirmative with any (or all) of these questions, that’s point.
We have this treasure (Christ and the Gospel) in jars of clay (you and me) that we might trust Him and not ourselves.
Before you pray that God would bring you out of whatever it is that cripples you as you serve Him, pray that He would enable you to acknowledge your limits and your liabilities and trust Him to work not simply in spite of those limits and liabilities, but glorifying Himself through them.
Brothers, may you find mercy that helps you to rest in the fact that our God who causes the sun to rise and tells the waves of the ocean how far they can rise on the shore – He will be glorified through us. And when we look in the mirror and are convinced that He can’t do it through us, may we rejoice “that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”
Stephen McDonald is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Scituate, MA.