Hold everyone in forgiveness
Can you forgive someone who hasn’t asked for forgiveness? There is a difficult tension in this question. On one hand, we must acknowledge that when someone admits guilt and the debt is graciously released, there is a beauty in that transaction. On the other hand, perhaps some of us have offered forgiveness to an individual or to a group of people who have not apologized, and their lack of accountability has felt a bit unsatisfying.
A tense time
In a divided world where civility appears to be lacking, arguments have turned to offense and then to hurt very rapidly (often without any attempt to acknowledge wrongdoing). Whether on social media or at the family dinner table, conversations over COVID-19 policies, topics of injustice and the upcoming election (not to mention all of the normal disputes) have left some Christians feeling wounded, misunderstood and angry in the wake of aggressive comments that felt unfair.
Whether to forgive may or may not be the question we want to admit is circling through in our minds during this intense season – but I would contend that, in actuality, it is the debate found in the quiet of many hearts. As a result, it stands to reason that we all would benefit greatly from revisiting Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness.
Jesus on forgiveness
Towards the end of His earthly ministry, Christ was asked by Peter, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (Matt. 18:21).
Rather than asking about the degree of sin or the heart of the one Peter termed “brother,” Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22).
This statement can be understood to mean forgive every time or, at minimum, much more than you ever thought you could. Only a few verses later in that same chapter, Jesus would share the parable of the unmerciful servant, which emphasized the need to forgive and the consequence for the alternative (Matt. 18:32-35).
Of course, what Jesus explained to Peter and to the others in both instances is what He had already taught them as a part of His teaching on prayer. After giving the disciples an outline for addressing God, which included asking for forgiveness, He then deepened its importance, saying, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14-15).
Finally, at the conclusion of being beaten, sentenced unjustly and hung on the cross, Jesus lived out His own teaching. As His accusers, who saw themselves as just, spat upon Him and mocked Him, Christ prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
The example of the Gospel
Jesus taught the disciples, and is teaching all of us who also share in that identity, that forgiveness is a marker of being His follower. For Jesus, regardless of the regularity or the extent of the offense, His people offer forgiveness. Despite the pain and the stress, Christians are those who are not consumed by bitterness, but with mercy cancel the debts of offense owed by others. No exceptions.
Furthermore, to abide by Jesus’ teachings is not just an act of submission to His authoritative instruction but also an acknowledgment of the Gospel, which calls us to recognize that a central element to the Good News is the undeserved forgiveness of sins. Or as Paul writes, “God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8) In a different letter, he adds that believers ought to be devoted to “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32)
Our response
The Gospel tells us that we are not simply to mimic, but instead to respond out of the gratitude of our hearts. We forgive, therefore, because we are so unbelievably appreciative of what Jesus did for us. His teaching as it pertains to the Gospel is an experiential encounter with grace.
During the intensity of this season, if we were to commit to being a people who pardon the debt of those who have offended us in our lives, regardless of the position of their hearts towards us, we would experience relief. Rather than the boulders of emotion that we carry around, we would feel the lifting of a weight that is no longer ours to shoulder. You see, when we forgive those who may not see their own guilt, we don’t lose – we simply entrust God with dealing with what we cannot control and embrace the freedom of loving our neighbors without keeping a record of wrongs.
As many Christians commendably find themselves seeking to understand and bring about justice and righteousness within the public square on a number of issues, may we never forget to do what a mentor of mine has said: “Hold everyone in forgiveness.” This is the way of Jesus Christ, and if we truly belong to Him, it must be our way as well.
John M. Ames is the church planting pastor of Faith Community Church in Providence, RI.