Helping parents discuss racial issues with kids
During the past few months we have been having many different types of conversations with our children, including some that have been especially challenging. With the start of the pandemic, we needed to find the best ways to help our kids understand what was happening and why things in their world were changing without notice. Just as the pandemic began showing signs of dissipation, the country was talking about race and social injustices with the public killing of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer. Public protests following Floyd’s death have given positive traction to issues we have talked about for some time with no substantial changes.
In an effort to help educate and support the children’s ministry leaders and volunteers in our New England churches, we welcomed Shanice Maxwell, the youth leader at Timothy Baptist Church in Roxbury, MA, to a recent online gathering. Shanice shared some great insights to help us to talk about race, racism and social injustice with our kids, including the 4 A’s of helping parents address race with our kids:
ADMIT that we all have biases and fears, and we must be willing to take those to the Lord for transformation. Also be willing to ask others to pray with and for you so that you can clearly share your heart.
Admit this is a conversation we must have, and, in some cases, it is long overdue.
Admit that you don’t have all the answers but express your commitment to being part of the solution and not the problem.
ACKNOWLEDGE that race-related issues are important and that you want to make sure that parents are brought into the loop as you share information about this topic. Be proactive and share resources with parents so that the conversation can be heard from all angles.
Acknowledge the need to listen, and keep yourself humble and teachable.
Acknowledge that your heart is to understand, not to be understood. Be willing to have the conversation and not think that you have all the answers.
Acknowledge other points of view but do not perpetuate racist ideas or perspectives. Be prepared to correct in love.
AFFIRM that we are only getting to the tip of the iceberg. There is so much underneath, and we have to be willing to start the dialogue.
Affirm the need to listen to others’ stories and to share your own when appropriate.
Affirm through use of Scripture.
ACTION is a powerful tool that seeks to bring tangible ways for impact and transformation.
Actions include being prayerful and intentional. We need to go to God about this issue and seek His face and His help!
Actions should be guided be Scripture. For example, think of lessons we can learn from the Good Samaritan, the Woman at the Well, etc.
Actions should acknowledge that an ongoing dialogue is needed, and that we must become allies to truly see permanent change.
If you would like to see Shanice’s video presentation, please visit www.bcne.net/kids, and check out the webinar section where all of our videos are stored.
Sandy Coelho serves as lay leadership development coordinator at the Baptist Convention of New England.