The poison of deflecting credit while shouldering blame

Everything that could go wrong did. It was bound to happen at least once during COVID-19, and the Sunday before Memorial Day was our day.

The stream of our service wouldn’t pull up on Facebook Live — we uploaded it and had everything ready to go, but when we hit “Start Streaming” … crickets. Frantically we asked everyone to be patient and talk amongst themselves in the chat. Ten minutes later — after a fierce combo of praying and sweating — it began to stream … but with glitches. The worst part was watching as friends and neighbors, of all possible Sundays, checked in to watch worship for the first time. In the moment, I wanted to scream and cry and throw a big “Why me, Lord?” pity party. 

“In ministry and mission, if we don’t take credit when things go well, then we can’t take the blame when things go badly.”

Up to this point during COVID-19, we’d gotten a lot of things right as a church. Our online services are going well. Zoom small groups were started and have been better attended, for the most part, than small groups ever were before March. And by God’s grace, we’d been able to serve our community in ways that have been creative, meaningful and well-received. Several times, when something went right, people would say, “JD, you are leading so well … that was incredible when you ____” or “Christ Church Charlestown is killing it … they are ____.” Every time praise would come our way, we would deflect — as we should — and give the praise to God. We’ve prayed for favor and wisdom, and He’s given it. And we’ve prayed He’d do more than we could ask or imagine, and He’s done it. If people have moved toward Him, it’s because He’s drawn them. We’ve done all we can with what we have, but God has done the heavy-lifting of COVID-19 mission and ministry. We cannot take the credit.

But it was noon on Sunday after a frustrating, embarrassing online gathering, and I was shouldering the blame. Yes, I had set things up as I should. Yes, I had done my part. But something went awry. Fact is: it didn’t go as it was supposed to or as I wanted it to, but the outcomes truly were out of my control. God is responsible for drawing people to Himself despite that technological train wreck, but the truth is that God is responsible for drawing people to himself on our best days as well. 

And that leads to the “A-ha!” moment of that mess: In ministry and mission, if we don’t take credit when things go well, then we can’t take the blame when things go badly. If we have done all we can with what we have, we must entrust the results to God. Poor understanding of who I am in Christ has led me, countless times, to deflect praise when things go well but to shoulder criticism when they do not. The child of God does not have this right. 

We have a choice to make. When we do our best, we can take the blame as if it is all our fault when the results aren’t what we hoped, but we must also take the credit as if it is all our doing when things go great. I doubt we would be foolish or presumptuous enough to do this! That leaves us with a choice.

When we’ve done all we can, and it goes great, we say, “I worked really hard at that, and, by God’s grace, it went really well, so praise the Lord.” In that same spirit, when we’ve done all we can, and it falls flat or malfunctions, we say, “I worked really hard at that, and, by God’s grace, it didn’t go as I’d hoped — but let’s wait and watch and see what God does!” That response is the response of grace. And that, I believe, is the response that honors God.

By two o’clock on Sunday afternoon, we were eating ice cream as a family, laughing and enjoying one another. The glitches and malfunctions weren’t even in the back of my mind. They were out, replaced by pleasure in the time with my family, and — by God’s grace — confident rest that God was going to work it out. How? Not sure. When? No idea.

If I’ve learned anything about God, it’s that He operates on His own time schedule. But why? That I know! He will work it out because I am Exhibit A that God takes messes and makes good from them. So I don’t have to take the credit or the blame. God is working all things for my good and His glory. And the same is true for you. If you’ve done your best, rest when things are good. Likewise, if you’ve done your best, rest when things go the exact opposite of how you’d scripted them. God is writing a better script anyway!

JD Mangrum is the church planting pastor of Christ Church Charlestown in Charlestown, MA.