Ministry criticism: A value-added experience
As a ministry leader, you’re probably no stranger to criticism. If you’ve ever tried a new ministry program, attempted to navigate significant change or just simply responded to a need, you’ve likely encountered someone who found fault in your methods and communicated their frustration loudly and clearly! Their critical words might have caused you minor irritation, or perhaps they wounded you quite severely.
Whether you’ve experienced one of these extremes or something in between, I’ve discovered that there is ALWAYS some value to be gained by EVERY criticism we receive in ministry, regardless of the degree to which we are at fault. That may seem counter-intuitive, but God has a funny way of turning battles into beauty.
There will always be unique personalities in ministry – this is the beauty of the Body of Christ! But when Jesus prayed for us the night before His crucifixion, His top request was for our UNITY, “so that the world may believe” that God the Father sent the Son and loved them. (John 17: 20-23)
So how can we respond to criticism in ways that glorify God and accomplish His purposes?
I’d like to suggest a three-fold approach: PAUSE, PRAY, and PRESS ON.
Pause
Like many New England drivers, my reaction to a stop sign may look more like a slow roll than a complete halt. But when I’m the recipient of critical judgement, I must always stop and look both ways. Pausing requires intentional time looking at the heart behind my actions or words that caused offense.
I must ask myself some difficult questions: Is there any merit in these harsh words? Does any truth lie beneath the surface? Also consider going to a trusted friend who has no connection to the conflict and openly ask for their honest opinion.
Who wants to face the possible reality of our own sinful motives and perspectives? But criticism becomes a GIFT of grace whenever I ask the Holy Spirit to give me His eyes and reveal the depths of my selfishness and pride. There is no place for a “how dare they scorn the Lord’s anointed” reaction. Rather, humble and honest reflection becomes an uncomfortable spiritual muscle group that must be worked regularly.
Pray
My first reaction to criticism is usually to become defensive, focusing on the future encounter to the point of obsession while rehearsing a more well-scripted response. But could there be a real spiritual opportunity there? Instead of lashing out, what if I looked up? After listening and reflecting inward, what might happen if I lifted up that person in serious prayer, asking God for His favor and blessing on their life?
Their demeanor toward me might not change, but I sure will. Suddenly, out of renewed gratitude for my own undeserved grace, I begin to look at that person with a soft, open heart. And if I’m in the “right,” and it’s a matter of biblical conviction, I further ask for courage to speak the truth in love. Additionally, those close to the conflict observe the power of Christ newly at work in me.
Press on
Once you have settled the matter with the Lord, leave it behind! Go out in new, open spaces of the Lord’s calling, accomplishing His tasks in His strength with renewed confidence. Trust God’s dealing with you (and with that brother/sister), resisting the evil one’s pressure to pick up again the burden of shame and disqualification.
Proverbs 15: 31 calls constructive criticism “a life-giving rebuke” and tells us that those who listen and heed it will be “at home with the wise.”
May the Lord give you the humble healing which precedes honor and a fruitful ministry!
Christina Davidson is a pastor’s life and serves as the worship leader at Hope Chapel in Sterling, MA.