Learning to practice gratitude
The year 2006 began like any other year – slow and steady. But by March, everything began to spiral out of control. My mother unexpectedly passed away while on vacation, my daughter began to have major issues at school, and I found myself the primary care-giver to an aging parent. Everything was overwhelming me, and I just couldn’t seem to get out of a very real funk.
This continued until the fall, when a friend of mine shared a spiritual practice that transformed me and circumvented the feelings and attitudes I was transmitting to myself and others. The practice: GRATITUDE.
Steps to practicing gratitude
Intentionally practicing gratitude is about being aware, acknowledging and appreciating all the good things that God placed in my life. It sounds so easy, but it really was quite challenging at first. Gratitude doesn’t come as naturally as grumbling does.
Here are the simple steps I followed to engage this practice:
1. Secure a small pocket notebook that you can take with you everywhere.
2. Make time every day to record things for which you are grateful in your small notebook. You will probably find at the beginning that the things you record are very obvious, but the goal is to dig deeper and find the little things, the hidden things that really have made a difference to your quality of life: the air you breathe, a special relationship, etc.
3. Find ways to say thank you as much as possible each day, even for the smallest gestures. Say the words when a server refills your water, when someone holds open a door, when a store clerk bags your groceries, when you receive a hug or when someone does an act of kindness for you.
4. Don’t overthink it. Pray that the Lord will open your senses and your mind all you have to be grateful for, and let the things He shows you speak to you in ways that bring gratitude to every situation.
It sounds simple, and, in theory, it is simple. But training yourself to focus on what you’re grateful for, instead of the negative things going on around you, takes practice and commitment.
The benefits of gratitude
After doing the practice for some time, I came across actual science that pointed to the positive benefits of this practice.*
Gratitude can improve your physical health. People who exhibit gratitude report fewer aches and pains, a general feeling of health, more regular exercise and more frequent checkups with their doctor than those who don’t.
Gratitude can improve your psychological health. Grateful people enjoy higher well-being and happiness and suffer from reduced symptoms of depression.
Gratitude can enhance empathy and reduce aggression. Those who show their gratitude are less likely to seek revenge against others and more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, with sensitivity and empathy.
Gratitude can improve your sleep. Practicing gratitude regularly can help you sleep longer and better.
Gratitude can enhance your self-esteem. People who are grateful have increased self-esteem, partly due to their ability to appreciate other peoples’ accomplishments.
Gratitude can increase your mental strength. Grateful people have an advantage in overcoming trauma and enhanced resilience, helping them to bounce back from highly stressful situations.
Start practicing gratitude today!
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, why not get the whole family involved? You can give each member of your family a small notebook and challenge everyone to complete a page a day and share some of things they found to be grateful for at the dinner table. What a great way to share some positive things and help each other to become more aware of the many ways God is blessing us through the small things in life! If you continue with this powerful practice regularly, I believe it will encourage you in a deep way.
Sandy Coelho serves as lay leadership development coordinator at the Baptist Convention of New England.