Third Culture Kids: What It's Like to Grow Up in a Multicultural Home
Where are you from? For most people, this question is simple to answer, but not for someone who is a third-culture kid. Not everyone is born and raised in the same place. Some of us move between states and even countries at an early age, acquiring new habits from other cultures. What will it be like to grow and create an identity in the midst of so much? Have we lost our culture? How do we deal with children who are third culture children?
When we move to another country, we carry enormous emotional baggage. Yes, it's an exciting adventure, but after a while we start to realize how important it is to take care of our mental and spiritual health, as living abroad is not a fairy tale.
Who are Third Culture Kids?
A “third culture child” is a term that refers to people raised among one or more cultures different from those of their parents. They have contact with the family culture and also with the culture of the place where they live. Therefore, they begin to develop their own culture of mixture, the third culture, unique and individual.
For example, children of diplomats, immigrants, missionaries and all types of expatriates become third culture children. Even if the changes occur in the same country, between states with very different cultures, the feeling is similar.
This expression comes from the English Third Culture Kid (TCK), and was first introduced in the 1950s by the American sociologist Ruth Hill Useem. Since then, TCKs have become increasingly common and the subject is increasingly debated.
In the globalized world we live in and the reality of New England brings a true picture of what is happening to the world, where more and more foreign families are moving in search of opportunities, there is an increasing need to know how to deal with migration .
Experience that Shapes Identity
Although they live in different places, third culture children have a lot in common. They are, after all, citizens of the world. They know several cultures, but have difficulty establishing roots.
Because they have similar experiences, third culture children tend to develop some typical characteristics, such as:
1) Quick adaptation to new environments;
2) Good interpersonal communication;
3) Ease of learning other languages;
4) Greater tolerance and respect for different cultures and religions;
5) Difficulty creating deep bonds with people;
6) Emotional detachment and ease in saying goodbye.
Tips for Parents of Third Culture Children
If you and your family have decided to embark on a big change, you better prepare yourself. In addition to adapting to a new culture, they will have to deal with missing home and missing friends. But it is possible to make change a positive experience.
My experience as a father and third culture person has allowed me to put together some good tips for other parents. Take a look:
1) Keep in touch with family who are far away and your own culture: teach the language, listen to Brazilian music;
2) Celebrate your family’s cultural diversity: also adopt the new cultures they experience;
3) Present the changes as something positive: show what’s good about the new place;
4) Make children feel at home wherever they are: pack their favorite personal items in their suitcase;
5) Embrace the identity of third-culture children: celebrate their accent, family heritage and what makes them unique;
Home Is Where the Heart Is
The reality of third culture children is unique. As you've seen, there are wonderful things that come from the experience of living in different places. But also others that can hinder personal development.
For children to become functional adults and part of a globalized world, the concepts of home and family need to go hand in hand.
Your identity does not need to be linked specifically to a country. After all, no one is the perfect stereotype of Brazil, right? Being from many places is beautiful. Each of them is part of who you are. Still, what makes us unique comes from ourselves. Whether we are in Portugal, Canada, Germany, in the northeast of the United States, we have an essence. And getting to know so many cultures can only enrich your own. If you live in a multicultural family, value each culture you get to know. Traveling is a privilege, and living in other countries is undoubtedly a wonderful experience.
New England is changing rapidly. Whether those cultural, demographic, political, and economic changes are for good or not, the reality is that we now live in a mission field—one that offers serious challenges and hopeful opportunities for the people of God in the Northeast. In today’s America we’re facing the challenge of belonging & becoming a missional church.
The Exodus Problem
The growth of immigration to the United States has brought with it a proliferation of ethnic churches that can span districts and regions. However, as these immigrants settle down and establish families, it is inevitable that the second and third generations will adopt the English language and the prevailing culture. Their own new culture is different from their parents, they are all TCKs. The result is that these new generations will leave the church of their parents where they grew up or abandon Christianity altogether, since it is difficult for them to locate a church that understands and reflects their reality. For example, Korean-American churches face what is called the "second exodus" of the second generation leaving their parents' church when they go to college.
An article published in Christianity Today reported that the cause of the exodus is that members of the second generation do not master the native language of their parents and that there is no effort on the part of the leaders to present alternatives for this group. Many of the first generation speak with a heavy accent and have little or no awareness of the American language and culture.
Our challenge now in New England will be to make churches work together in a missiology and ecclesiology that cultures will be confronted with the biblical truth of inclusion and contextualization. Both ethnic churches and Anglo churches need to evaluate their practices and begin a process of mutual cooperation so that third-culture children can be God's answer to the revitalization of our churches here in New England. I totally believe that if we allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts we will be able to show the world a true revolution in our faith that can certainly give a direction not only missiological but spiritual and restoring our nation. May we be one people!
Lierte Soares serves the Baptist Churches of New England as the President. He is a pastor, educator and missionary with a passion for evangelism & discipleship. A graduate in Theology and Law, he also holds a master's degree with a concentration in Cross-Cultural Missions from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Fort Worth, Texas, and is currently working on his doctorate in evangelism and missions at the same seminary.
