Overcoming the Spirit of Offense: Lessons from 1 Samuel 25

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
— Proverbs 19:11 (ESV)

The Story Behind the Lesson

Nabal was a wealthy man living in Carmel, known for his riches—but also for his harshness and evil behavior. His name literally meant 'fool,' and sadly, he lived up to it. Despite having everything a person might desire—a successful business, a beautiful and intelligent wife named Abigail, and protection provided by David’s men—Nabal was bitter and disrespectful. When David’s men respectfully requested provisions in return for their goodwill, Nabal mocked them, triggering David’s anger and nearly causing bloodshed.

But then came Abigail—wise, humble, and courageous. She intercepted David, who was angry at how Nabal had treated him. Abigail brought David gifts and heartfelt words, deescalating the situation and preserving peace. David, convicted by her intervention, thanked God for stopping him from acting in anger. Ten days later, Nabal died, having suffered a seizure when confronted with the consequences of his actions.

What Is the Spirit of Offense?

The 'spirit of offense' is a spiritual and emotional posture that holds on to past hurts. It clouds judgment, poisons relationships, and blinds us to the blessings in our lives. Nabal’s story is a stark warning: even those who are materially blessed can be inwardly tormented if they let bitterness take root.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” — Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)

Nabal had everything—but nothing made him happy. Why? Because something in his past had offended him, and he never dealt with it. He carried that offense into every relationship, becoming toxic to those around him. Like many of us, he may have felt justified in his hurt. But by nurturing it rather than forgiving and healing, he became its prisoner.

The Consequences of Bitterness

Unresolved offense can damage us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Just as Nabal’s life was literally cut short, so too can bitterness eat away at our well-being. It affects our relationships, our peace, and our ability to see the good in our lives.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

Psychologists agree: forgiveness is not just a moral duty; it’s essential for mental and emotional health. Holding on to past wrongs keeps us trapped in cycles of depression, anxiety, and dysfunction.

The Power of a Peacemaker

Abigail's actions remind us of the powerful role peacemakers play. She not only defused a violent situation but saved her household and changed the course of history. Her humility and wisdom contrast sharply with Nabal’s pride. She is proof that grace and courage can heal wounds and redirect disaster.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” — Matthew 5:9 (ESV)

Moving Beyond the Offense

All of us have been hurt. Some wounds run deep. But healing begins when we choose to face the offense, process the pain, and forgive. Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong. It frees us from its grip.

As believers, we are called to something higher: to walk in grace, to seek peace, and to reflect the heart of Christ. David could have let offense shape his legacy—but he chose mercy instead. We can too.

Call to Action

Are we carrying a spirit of offense?
- Reflect: Is there someone who hurt us in the past whose offense still has power over our peace today?
- Confess: Bring our pain honestly to the Lord. He is not intimidated by our wounds.
- Forgive: Even if the other person doesn’t deserve it—especially if they don’t—we must release them into God’s hands and free ourselves.
- Pursue Peace: Is there a conversation we need to initiate, a letter we need to write, or a prayer we need to pray?

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” — Romans 12:18 (ESV)

Let today be the day we choose healing over hurt, grace over grudge, and joy over offense.